If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
