mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
