the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
