I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We are all done wearing pants today
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
