franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
