its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
