Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
