I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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