We're like a lot better than the average bears
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
