yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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