That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
