i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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