I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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