Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
