My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
