what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
