no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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