Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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