Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
