I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fill condoms, not promises.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
