You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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