I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
