omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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