Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
