This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize