I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize