what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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