So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
