I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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