fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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