I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
