Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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