does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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