she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
