wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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