look no pants
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think i got beer on your cat.
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