He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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