Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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