I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
