All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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