Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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