...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
