the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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