so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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