remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Boobs are out for the taking
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
