this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
