Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
