i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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