Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
