my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
