When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
