Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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