You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
