You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
