Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
