Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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