Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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