Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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